Numbers
by Shirotora chan
Summary: During "The Dark Knight." reflective shots into Bruce Wayne's mind. Bruce reflects in numbers about everything that has happened. Starts with "One Enemy"
1. One Enemy

**Chapter One:**

**One Enemy**

Out of all the villains Bruce had fought, Joker was the worst. He didn't seem to care whether he lived or died, and certainly didn't care who died during his rampage of chaos. Bruce hated Joker. He hated everything about the twisted clown. His greasy, unkempt hair, the purple suit stained red, both literally and figuratively, the psychotic laugh that made lesser men freeze, and want to curl up under a blanket. Bruce hated Joker's eyes the most though. Eyes more terrifying than that sick laugh. Eyes that burned with hatred, burned with insanity, eyes that revealed how far the Joker was lost in his own mind. Bruce hated Jokers eyes, because they reminded him of **himself**.

Joker's eyes reminded Bruce of his daily struggle with sanity, with trying to keep all that he knew in one piece. Trying to hold on to that last shred of humanity, because, maybe, deep down, he was already as insane as the Clown Prince. So when Bruce put on the mask and fought as the caped crusader, he wasn't fighting the Joker. He was fighting himself. He was fighting his own dive into the very madness that took a physical body and a name: Joker.

Bruce only had one enemy, and while he continued to fight for Gotham as the Batman, it would be himself, and his own loosening grip on humanity. Because if he didn't fight his own madness, who would?

**Hi everyone. Welcome to this humble little story called "Numbers." These are little pieces revealing what may have gone on in Bruce Wayne's mind during **_**The Dark Knight**_**. I was inspired the other day in class, after thinking about the movie, and started writing. This chapter is short, but the chapters will get progressively longer as the numbers go higher. Next Chapter: Two Masks, should be up in a few hours. If not sooner. Let me know what you think. Faves and constructive criticism are love, flames are used to roast marshmallows. I won't read them. Thanks, Shiro**


	2. Two Masks

**Because I forgot last time:**

**Disclaimer: The universe of **_**Batman**_** does not belong to me. If it did, Bruce Wayne would so not be single… hahaha…. Yeah…. Anyway. **

**Chapter Two:**

**Two Masks**

Bruce Wayne wore two masks. Or maybe it was just one- it was hard to tell. He felt attached, yet at the same time disconnected, to both.

First was his public persona: the happy-go-lucky Bruce Wayne. The rich heir, the pretty-boy, who preferred living large with a life full of good wine, pretty super models, and buying hotels on a whim. The role of a man who lived life by acting on impulse, yet managed to run a successful business despite his unfortunate tendency to fall asleep during meetings. Bruce loved the ease and comfort of this life. Who wouldn't? Yet… he always felt like he needed more… Bruce was always too restless under this mask, and hated the superficiality of the world that this persona belonged to.

Then there was Batman. A dark knight, a vigilante, who broke the rules to attain justice. A man who hid his own face in the shadows to reveal the flaws of society. A man who fought as ruthlessly as those he fought, yet never crossed the line to murder in cold blood. A man who was almost as insane as the villains he fought. Like with his other mask, there were pros and cons to this mask. Bruce loved helping Gotham, even if it wasn't on the legal path. He loved the thrill of the chase, of being able to let loose, and escape the boundaries of normal people, of normal society…. But he hated the fact that every time he donned that black mask, he lost a bit of himself, a bit of his humanity, of his sanity*.

And yet, in the twilight moments when he changed between these two faces, Bruce found himself clinging to the mask of his darker side, because maybe he and Batman weren't too different. Maybe Bruce needed to let loose and voyage outside the limitations just as much as his alter-ego. Maybe he needed that inner struggle, just to make himself feel alive.

Maybe there was only one mask after all. Bruce was never sure.

**Here's Chapter 2. A little later than promised, but I have it up. This chapter is dedicated to Xrai, the first reviewer of this story. I'm glad you liked it! You know, I didn't realize the thing with the paint until after you said it. Thanks for pointing it out! Coming up next: "Three Regrets." Please review.**


	3. Three Regrets

**Disclaimer: The universe of **_**Batman**_** does not belong to me. Sadly. It would be very different if I did… **

**Chapter Three:**

**Three Regrets:**

There were very few things that Bruce regretted in his life. Only three things, actually.

His first regret was his cowardice that let Harvey take the blame for being Batman. It was his selfish wish to keep his alter-ego alive that led him to that choice. But if he _had_ given himself up, there may have been eight deaths avoided. The six innocent police officers, Harvey himself, and Rachel. Eight tragic deaths that tallied up on Joker's reign of terror. Gotham didn't need Bruce Wayne or the Batman. Gotham didn't need a hero who hid his face behind a mask in the dark. Gotham needed her White Knight. A visible hero who pursued justice and was loved by the law-abiding citizens of Gotham. Harvey's death was Bruce's fault, and Bruce regretted his decision with his entire being. "I'm so sorry Harvey… so sorry…"

His second regret was not being able to tell Rachel "goodbye" and "I love you." He should have known Joker would lay a trap for him, and oh god, Rachel. Memories of an afternoon in a garden, sunlight caressing her skin, a kiss that induced dreams of a possible future, sprung unbidden into his mind. _Rachel_. Rachel beautiful. Rachel strong. Rachel steadfast. Rachel just. Rachel loving. Rachel intelligent. Rachel his…._ Rachel_. He couldn't go to her funeral. The memories were too painful. The dreams were too powerful. He would go to her grave, years later, apologizing. Apologizing for not coming sooner, for not saying good bye, for not saying the three words that could have changed everything. "Good bye Rachel. I love you."

His third regret was not being able to break his one rule. The rule of not killing. He wasn't sure if he could break his rule and stay "good." But maybe if he had killed Joker, things may have been different. He had the chance. He just didn't take it because he was too afraid of turning into Joker himself… But things were different now. Bruce knew that the Joker wouldn't stay locked up forever. He could tell. Joker would escape eventually. And when he did, Batman would be there, waiting. And he would be ready. Joker would die by Batman's hand, come what may. "Next time Joker, you're mine."

**A/N: I'm SOOOOOOOOO sorry for the delay. I had a lot of difficulty writing this one. Once again, thank you to all of you wonderful reviewers. You are the ones who give me the strength to go on. For the next chappie, I'll need help though. What should the topic be. It has to contain four things, but I'm not sure what to do. Whoever gives me the best idea gets the chapter dedication. Thank again!**

**~Shiro.**


	4. Four Reasons

Four Reasons

**Still don't own it. Damn.**

Bruce has four reasons why he fights, and why he is Batman, although he never tells anyone.

The first is for his parents. Maybe if there was someone like him in the world when his parents were gunned down by a common thief, then he wouldn't have to be Batman. He fights in their name, to protect the city that they gave so much to, and got nothing but death in return.

The second is for the future. Batman exists so that hopefully one day, there won't need to be a Batman. He wouldn't wish his life on anyone else. Batman exists so that hopefully, there will be a time when kids won't have their very lives ripped away from them, right in front of their faces. Bruce never wants to see a child have to suffer as he did. (Meeting Dick Grayson a few years later only emphasized that and made him want to work harder)

The third reason is for Gotham. There are truly good people who live in this city, who stay in order to make things better, even if it seems impossible. People like Gordon and his family. People like Harvey and Rachel. Every time Bruce, whether he's Bruce Wayne or Batman, sees a regular citizen do something, the smallest thing even, to make Gotham a better place, he knows that the broken bones, the bruises, and the near-death experiences are worth it, because he is keeping these people safe.

The fourth reason is for himself. Being Batman is his only reason for being alive. Fighting to protect a city that can't seem to save itself, no matter how hard some people try, it's not a rewarding job. If he didn't have his mask as Batman (literally and figuratively) to hold on to, it would be very likely that the Joker would have had a next-door neighbour in Arkham with an equally destroyed and shattered mind. By seeking justice, by being Batman, Bruce finds a reason to be alive. Bruce is Batman because he feels like he has no other purpose in life but this.

**Damn, it's been so long since I've updated this story. I can't believe it. Sorry everyone! I didn't mean to leave it for this long, but my **_**Dark Knight**_** muse ran away once I got to college. It was only after seeing **_**The Dark Knight Rising**_** trailer that I was inspired again! (By the way, if you haven't seen it, watch it. Right now. It's incredible) Let me know what you think of this chapter! I wasn't sure if it was in the same trend as the previous ones, because it's been a while, but... ah well. Thanks so much! **

**~Shiro**


End file.
